Gabriel nods. It’s as suitable a euphemism for what he wants as any other he can think up in this dreary dying language.
“I’ll consider it,” Sam says. “But I’d like some information from you. How have you been following me around? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be invisible to angel-radar?”
“Oh, that?” Gabriel waves a dismissive hand. “I’ve been around long enough to know the tricks. I can follow a car with the best of ‘em. I can trace your fake names through all the motels of North America, rather like that creep did in Lolita.” He’d been around when that was published of course. Such fuss! So many dicks virtually volunteering to be tricked! Good times, good times. “There are even a few demons and pagan gods and such who owe me favours. You guys aren’t hard to track down, if only one can think outside the rigid box of an angelic education.” At this point, it seems appropriate to bow very low and disappear off to parts far, far away (or, you know, just around the corner), before Sam can go back on his word that he’ll think about it.
***
Dean, Gabriel observes while loitering invisibly in the vicinity of a certain Chevrolet Impala, is not at all pleased to be told they have to stop accepting the gifts from Sam’s admirer.
“But why?” Dean demands. “Unless she’s evil, whoever she is? Do you know who it is? Is she evil? Is she hot?”
Sam throws up his hands in defeat. “Fine. It’s the Trickster, okay? Apparently he wants my svelte body or something.”
Dean snorts incredulously. “You’re his type, really? Did you tell him you like pussy?”
“The subject didn’t come up. Besides, would you say that to the Trickster? You’d probably wind up with a pussy of your very own.”
Dean chooses this moment to adjust himself in his jeans, as though to make sure all the essentials are still in there.
Gabriel has to fight the urge to slap his thigh and laugh like a maniac. Because that isn’t at all the sort of thing he’d do—because it never would have occurred to him. But now that it’s been suggested, his fingers are itching to make it happen. Sam, however, probably wouldn’t approve of Gabriel turning his brother into a woman for no good reason, so resist he must.
Oh, Sam. The things I sacrifice for you.
“Hey, you think he could turn himself into a hot chick? Then you two could date, and I could keep enjoying all the free gifts.”
“I don’t think angels’ vessels work that way. He could go get himself a new one, maybe? I got the impression they were kinda rare. Anyway, I’m used to him the way he is.”
“Yeah, but we don’t date dudes, Sammy.”
“We don’t, no.”
There’s a spectacularly uncomfortable silence that makes Gabriel want to shriek with laughter.
Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, anything you want to tell me, Sammy?”
“You’ll go all weird on me.”
“I won’t. Well, okay, I’ll try not to.”
Sam lets out his breath in a huff, sucks in some more air. “I mainly like pussy, as you so charmingly put it. But, maybe thirty percent of the time? Dick is where it’s at for me. Deal with it.”
Dean Winchester speechless is so hilarious a sight that Gabriel actually has to take the drastic step of rendering himself inaudible as well as invisible because this time he simply cannot hold back the laughter.
Time and a place (Sam/Gabriel, pampering, PG) 2
“I’ll consider it,” Sam says. “But I’d like some information from you. How have you been following me around? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be invisible to angel-radar?”
“Oh, that?” Gabriel waves a dismissive hand. “I’ve been around long enough to know the tricks. I can follow a car with the best of ‘em. I can trace your fake names through all the motels of North America, rather like that creep did in Lolita.” He’d been around when that was published of course. Such fuss! So many dicks virtually volunteering to be tricked! Good times, good times. “There are even a few demons and pagan gods and such who owe me favours. You guys aren’t hard to track down, if only one can think outside the rigid box of an angelic education.” At this point, it seems appropriate to bow very low and disappear off to parts far, far away (or, you know, just around the corner), before Sam can go back on his word that he’ll think about it.
Dean, Gabriel observes while loitering invisibly in the vicinity of a certain Chevrolet Impala, is not at all pleased to be told they have to stop accepting the gifts from Sam’s admirer.
“But why?” Dean demands. “Unless she’s evil, whoever she is? Do you know who it is? Is she evil? Is she hot?”
Sam throws up his hands in defeat. “Fine. It’s the Trickster, okay? Apparently he wants my svelte body or something.”
Dean snorts incredulously. “You’re his type, really? Did you tell him you like pussy?”
“The subject didn’t come up. Besides, would you say that to the Trickster? You’d probably wind up with a pussy of your very own.”
Dean chooses this moment to adjust himself in his jeans, as though to make sure all the essentials are still in there.
Gabriel has to fight the urge to slap his thigh and laugh like a maniac. Because that isn’t at all the sort of thing he’d do—because it never would have occurred to him. But now that it’s been suggested, his fingers are itching to make it happen. Sam, however, probably wouldn’t approve of Gabriel turning his brother into a woman for no good reason, so resist he must.
Oh, Sam. The things I sacrifice for you.
“Hey, you think he could turn himself into a hot chick? Then you two could date, and I could keep enjoying all the free gifts.”
“I don’t think angels’ vessels work that way. He could go get himself a new one, maybe? I got the impression they were kinda rare. Anyway, I’m used to him the way he is.”
“Yeah, but we don’t date dudes, Sammy.”
“We don’t, no.”
There’s a spectacularly uncomfortable silence that makes Gabriel want to shriek with laughter.
Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, anything you want to tell me, Sammy?”
“You’ll go all weird on me.”
“I won’t. Well, okay, I’ll try not to.”
Sam lets out his breath in a huff, sucks in some more air. “I mainly like pussy, as you so charmingly put it. But, maybe thirty percent of the time? Dick is where it’s at for me. Deal with it.”
Dean Winchester speechless is so hilarious a sight that Gabriel actually has to take the drastic step of rendering himself inaudible as well as invisible because this time he simply cannot hold back the laughter.